Killackey's Request:

1. Why am I here?
I'm here right now because I love English. I love everything it has to offer. I love being able to see things not only as they are on the surface, but as they want to be beneath the face-value. The study of English fascinates me - it's abstract and artful, like my own thoughts and ideals - yet it's concrete with strict rules, like grammar, punctuation, syntax, and all those rhetorical devices I learned a few months ago. I'm here simply because I love the rigorous analysis and the emotion that can be revealed if one chooses to look deeply enough into a piece of literature. I want to learn more about the study of artful analysis. In complete honestly, I want to soak up as much as I can so that I can not only apply it to my own writing, but acutely appreciate the works of others - books, movies, or otherwise.

2. What is the point of reading a novel, poem, or short story?
The point is what can be derived from the novel, poem or short story. The thematic statement, the commentary on life and religion, the deep, nameless emotions that can be so accurately described in a literary work. Literature can change the way one views the world, a troubling situation, or even himself. Without literature, we as people would have no gage for what matters and what doesn't. We wouldn't know what to do with our emotions or our burning questions about life, love, and pursuit. Literature artfully shows us our own emotions in a way that brands our minds with images that we never would've seen before otherwise. The point is the inner message that can enable our minds to ingest an idea that may or may not change the roots of our perceptions.

3. What have I brought to this class and how do I intend to use that talent?
I've brought all I can offer - my feeble attention span and burning creativity. I'm always vocal during class discussions and can offer varying perspectives on different topics. I'm also an extremely interrogative person, so beware. I'm rarely satisfied with one answer. I love going into detail on essays, if you can't tell, and, when it comes to English particularly, I push myself until the emotion or point of view I want to convey is successfully revealed. I can promise that I'm an interesting person, for better or worse, and my questions will keep coming. I love talking about English.

4. What will I give up to give my best to academics?
My academic life, to be quite honest, has always been an intense struggle for me, not only because I really can't focus no matter how much I want to or how much I try, but because my life has always been in a state of violent disarray that, I realize now, will never settle. I don't question my intelligence, as narcissistic as that sounds, but I do question my willingness to sit down, shut up, and focus for a minute. I amaze myself with how distracted I am as a person. If I could give up my distractions, I would. Trust me. I've wiped away countless tears of frustration for my academic life that's always been robbed and maimed by my ADD or whatever it might be, (not that it's not my fault or responsibility, because I understand now that it is.) I can promise you that I will do my honest best. It's senior year and no one has any idea how to sick to death I am of falling behind and trying to catch up all semester.

5. Am I willing to daily read 40 to 60 pages of an outside reading and/or class reading and keep an ongoing log or response to what I am reading?
Willing? I give you a resounding yes. Capable? I give you a seemingly although not actually disrespectful maybe, I'll try. Based on my aforementioned array of mental issues, I can't promise a wonder student that will be everything you've ever asked for in a student, as much as it pains me to say it and probably annoys you to hear it. (Hey, you asked for honesty. Here it is.) However, this year, I've finally found what I believe to be the motivation to quiet my forever inanely buzzing mind and focus on school. I am willing. I am capable. It'll be extremely hard for me, but I can do it, and I will definitely try my hardest to do whatever you or Mrs. Vandagriff asks me to do.

6. What is my highest personal accomplishment?
I want to give you a girl scout résumé complete with the maximum amount of merit badges and saving the life of the troop leader by an impromptu CPR session. However, I was only a girl scout for the earlier years of my life, before it went insane, I think, and I have very little, if any, notable achievements that might be considered worthy in the eyes of someone that's only skimming this ridiculously long email. My greatest personal accomplishments include: feeding my cat every day, doing my homework the day it's assigned, cleaning my room before it gets out of hand, and waking up on time. I'm a social retard.
However, I do have a few that transcend the normal you're-really-dumb-if-you-consider-this-an-accomplishment area. For example, I very nearly directed an amazing musical. I say very nearly in the sense that it was never actually performed, because some of the people involved left the production, but we were almost complete, and it was almost a breathtaking show. I'm proud of what it would've been, and I'm proud of the fact that I know, despite that failure, that I'm going to try it again.
I'm proud of some other things that probably wouldn't be tactful to put on here, since they're extremely personal, but know that they're there.
I think my highest personal achievement is becoming the person I am right now. I've been many different people with many different beliefs and attitudes, but the one I am right now is someone who's less fluid a concept and much more flawed, but in a good way. I accept the responsibility of my chipped attention span, and I accept that I have a lot to learn about life, myself, and on a smaller scale, English. But, I want to learn and I want to reign in my rampant mind. This year, the person I am right now is willing to do anything to get off the track that I've been on and move into a direction of structure, something I've always envied. This person, this confident, likable, artistic, inherently flawed person is willing to push and push as far as she can go to obtain the future that will make her happy and then go on to affect the world. I can promise you that, Mr. Killackey and Mrs. Vandagriff. I don't know if you'll like me, but I know I'll like you and I know I'll try my hardest to do right by both the school and myself. It'll be really, really hard, but I think I can do it, and that's the best place to start. Or so I've heard, anyway.


I hope I didn't irritate you with the probably excessive length -

- Kate Howell