It's been a while...

Not that anyone's reading this, anyway. XD

Anyway, hello, again! It's been almost an entire year since I've updated. My friend demanded that I make one of these blogs and I paused for a moment and remembered that I already had one. So there we go.

Well, I haven't made any new youtube videos, either. I can't find my camera charger, but the main reason is because I haven't had any time this year to do it. My computer's ridiculously slow. And, I mean, it really is ridiculous. It takes about four or five hours to just upload a video onto youtube. I'm not kidding.

I did this once in one of my journals, and I'm going to do it again. >D BREAK EVERYTHING INTO SECTIONS YAAAY!


BOYS:

On October 4th, 2008, I met a guy that I had been talking to on the internet in person.
On October 5th, 2008, we began officially dating.
We've been dating for eight months, now. :D His name is Brian and he's just the coolest cat you'll ever meet. I've never been happier with a significant other.
It seems really bad, I know. We met on the internet and not to mention that he's in college. My parents nearly had strokes. Plus, my best friend is now suicidal because I've ruined her life, but I'll get to that later. Really, though, he's not a typical frat guy. He doesn't even live in a fraternity. He's really sweet and introspective, and you can say whatever you want about it, but keep in mind that we've been dating for eight months. That's kind of a while for someone who's just after my body. And I would've noticed by now if he wasn't who he said he was. So kablam.


SCHOOL:

It's summer break now, and over my sophomore year, I ended up with three A's and three B's, I do believe. For second semester, I was taking Pre-AP English II, AP European History, Creative Writing, Chemistry, Pre-Ap Spanish III, and Pre-AP Geometry. AP Euro was really rigorous, but I think everyone should take a class like that. It gave me awesome experience, and I'm taking even harder classes next year, but I feel prepared to handle them now that I've had that class.


FRIENDS:

So, as I mentioned earlier, I ruined my best friend's life and now all she thinks about is killing herself. Sorry if I sound a little apathetic. Here's the situation:

I had been talking to Brian on the internet for a long time. About six os seven months. My friend knew about him, and she was a little concerned, but I promised I wouldn't ever communicate with him outside the internet. It was wrong. I understand that. It was wrong to make a stupid promise like that and then break it.

Yeah, so I broke my promise, obviously, because I knew that he was really special and we had such a good connection, it was uncanny. I couldn't stop thinking about him. He and I were just so mentally entwined, nothing else seemed the same. How do you stay away from something that powerful? Especially me. I'm bad with stuff like that.

So, we met, and I just totally fell head over heels at that point. There was such a potent, magnetic force that ran between us, I forgot that all my friends were even there with me. Maybe I'm just being stupid. But, either way, we both shared this insane current of electricity that kept pushing us to each other. I loved him then, and I still feel that when I'm with him, now.

My best friend, however, was still pissed, understandably. She didn't go to meet him with me, also understandably. It was a big day for me and I wanted her support, but I really do completely understand why she didn't go and I don't hold that against her.

So Brian and I started dating and it's been wonderful between us. We both understand each other so well, it's really easy to just have conversations that don't ever end in awkward silence. And, despite my attachment to him, I feel more independent than I ever felt before. I don't need to seek anyone's approval, not even Brian's. If there's something he doesn't like about me, then he can deal with it, because I'm not going to change for him, and it's the same way with him. I feel like I can finally stand up straight without a crutch. It's wonderful.

As the weeks passed, they turned to months. And months. And months. And my best friend refuses to meet him. Still.

She says that just knowing he exists makes her day a little worse. Every time she sees me texting him, rage boils inside of her. Her life is ruined. She says that I left her alone and that I think he's better than she is. He stole me from her. So, in retaliation to when I go out with him and don't invite her, (which is simply because I know she won’t come), she goes out with all our friends and doesn't invite me. I used to be really close to her family, but I don't ever go to her house anymore because it reeks of unwelcome. All my other friends have come to accept him and forgive me for my dumb mistakes. Everyone but her.

And, plus, I have this other friend who wants to meet him, but she can't, because she's the only person that my best friend can talk to, now, and if she meets him, then she’ll stop talking to her, just like she stopped talking to me, and we’re all worried that if she doesn’t have anyone to talk to, she might commit suicide.

Yes, I made a lot of mistakes that hurt a lot people. I acknowledge that, and I even apologized to her face for being stupid. But, really, eight months is a long time. He’s obviously important to me. He’s obviously worth all this stupid drama, because we’re still going strong. When is it too much?

I don’t know. I didn’t come on here to bash my friend, but it’s really affected me emotionally that she would just be so hateful toward me for something I apologized for. I’ve gained other friends that will actually accept me despite my faults, and it’s made me happier.


FAMILY:

My parents are divorced, and I used to go to my dad’s house for two or three weeks, and then to my mom’s house for another two or three weeks, but I decided that I wanted to have a more permanent home base, so we’ve changed it to where I stay with my dad during school and my mom during summer/weekends/breaks. It’s going okay, except my dad really makes me angry. All the time. We pretty much fight constantly.

Get this. Okay, I get chronic migraines that get really, really bad. Like, bad enough to make me throw up, in which case, I don’t go to school. But “chronic” means it happens a lot, so I miss a lot of school. But, I go to school sick a lot of the time, too, just because I know it pisses my dad off when I stay home.

Okay, so my mom took me to the emergency room the last week of school because I was throwing up every twenty minutes or something for six hours straight, and then I made the dumb mistake of telling my dad that I was going to hospital, so he showed up and started bitching at me. No, I’m not joking. As I threw up stomach acid into a barf bag the hospital gave me, he was saying that maybe I can take my finals during summer school, since I obviously didn’t have enough credit to pass sophomore year, and that it was a Thursday and I always get sick on Thursdays and he thinks it’s because I skip to see my boyfriend, who, by the way, lives three hours away. He wouldn’t stop, either, even after I just told him to leave because nobody wanted him there and he was being a dick. My mom even told him to stop being a jerk, but he kept going. I was so mad. I wanted to puke on him.

He, finally, after watching me consistently vomit bile, rolled his eyes and said, “Well, you’ve proven to me that you’re actually sick.”

Oh my effing God, I wanted to punch him so bad. Yeah, we were sitting in the goddamn lobby of the ER and I had finally proven to him that I was actually sick.

It was so stupid.


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Okay! So, yeah, that was a rant, but hey, I needed it and you don’t have to read it, anyway. XP

I’ll be updating more over the summer. :D